it’s the evening before my math final. did i just spend the past 40 minutes drawing an anatomically correct penis to prove a point? yes i did.
do i regret it? no i most definitely don’t.

i just realised that i will not have to go to class tomorrow to discuss this terrible tragedy with a bunch of pretentious privileged assholes who think they’re clever because their gpa says so.

i will not have to witness my english teacher fashioning this event into a mildly racist discussion about religious extremism.

nor will i have to listen to those upper class kids who are graduating right now telling me how women aren’t actually disadaventaged or underrepresented in any way, how some people shouldn’t be allowed to adopt children or how kids from lower education systems are generally stupid and can’t be compared to us.

i will never have to listen to that again. i can just walk away from those discussions, i can surround myself with intelligent people.

it will take me a while to grasp the fact that school is actually finally over.

in the past week, i

• got two of four final exams over with
• found the perfect flat, got it and managed all financial difficulties

next goal: feel comfortable running in a sports bra. that thing is the shit.

it’s actually really hard to not immediately fall in love with anyone who can see you at your worst and help you to get up without losing respect for you in the slightest.

so i met this girl and she is awesome. she is so intelligent like we discussed neuroscience and evolution for an hour and she knows finding nemo by heart and she sings along to soundtracks of our childhood movies and she loves fight club and listens to placebo and starts talking in english if she’s drunk (we’re german) and she’s super nice and a hitchhiker fan and did i mention she is drop-dead gorgeous like shjdk i have the biggest crush on her it’s not even funny.
aand she’s got a boyfriend, fuck my life. but i still like can i just be best friends with you seriously we can’t not be friends i mean come on. asdhkjlkj.

jup, i just canceled an internship that would have gotten me to CERN with a science journalist for two weeks. because of school, because i can’t manage my abitur and the internship at once. fuck this shit i am so fucking glad when i’m out of here you have no fucking idea god damn it. i don’t even know i just want to do things i like.

30 days of classes. two months to the exams. not long and that’s good cause i’m dying in here.

i love going to yoga class.

especially if the teacher is dwayne holliday, an adorably enthusiastic american speaking german with the most epic accent who is constantly reminding everyone to “keep their facial muscles active” because if he says “keep smiling”, no one listens.

i could fill a billion dramatic texts post right now going by the considerable amount of tissues piled up next to me. but i don’t even know what to say.

except that i will read this book at least a second and a third time before i will consider myself able to appreciate it thoroughly.

i’m beginning to have a serious problem with people complaining about having no choice in their lifes.

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